Woad Movie

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Season, Week, Day

Earth Season, Harmony Week, Fireday and Wildday

Events

Dramatis Personae

PC

Berra Daughter of Jarang
Nala of the Unicorn Ladies
Tiwr (Player absent, played en-troupe)
Rajar son of Ranulph
Mellia
Vestra, Grey Sage
Serala

NPC

Honest Alred- Initiate of Issaries, and horse purveyor extraordinaire, Whitewall
Edart, a bandit poor injured traveller
Ardr Fondzerellisson- A provincial charmer
Naril, Master of the Horses to the Prince of Sartar
Kallyr Starbrow, Prince of Sartar
Geoffri Ringeye, High Sword of Humakt in Duck Point
D'Val the Sword

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As before, the log will be recounted with extracts from Berra JarangsdottiHumaktisaga, from The Sonnets to Mellia, Sweetest of Healers, White Lady of Esrolia, The Lay of Serala, Lance of the Cold Sun , The Death of Rajar or The Sonnets to Vestra, Grey Lady of Wisdom, and NalaTiwrSaga. {insertions} will occur in another cynical or sarcastic voice, best recalled amongst the Unicorns of Prax. Footnotes for the interested are included at the bottom of the extracts. [Editorial comments will be bracketed thus.]

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[Our story picks up again with the Lay of Serala.]

Our Lady of the Cold Bright Spear
Wished to ride out wider, far and near
Her wish to lead her fellows o'er the land
And let them for all the goodness stand

Her wisdom for the horses lore¹
Companions most plainly saw
And Berra called upon her sage advice
And heard her words of horsedom wise.

[And then they rode north, leaving Mellia behind. NalaTiwrsaga picks up the tale]

When bandit lies dead
In road a duck is to blame
Tiwr cannot eat a man²

A grumpy unicorn
Makes for a grumpy woman.
Ernalda forgive:

Never laid to rest
Bandit cannot find his due
Lasting damnation

[For some reason, the stay at Wilmskirk is not viewed as worthy of documentation in the saga, but the Sonnets to Mellia pick up her tale as, once again, she is stuck behind, tidying up.]

The Bless'd white lady rode³ then swiftly north,
For sickness from Whitewall was driven forth⁴.
Alone she rode, but feared she not some ill
For White Ladies do bear such wide good will
That none against them plan or harbour wrong
For reasons listed scorefold in this song!
And thus she came on D'Val fallen foe,
She would not let him lie as carr'ion so!⁵

[The others not having bothered to bury the body in the road, being too busy discussing whether to commit casual murder, Mellia was left, as ever, to tidy up.]

Coming close, comrades met.
Cruel Cold cursing
In Wilmskirk's Warmth
Warriors waiting on healer

Once met Mellia the masses,
Marshwards made Berra her mark.
Others Northwards Out
Obeying Oaths, onwards.

[Switching back over to the Sonnets to Vestra]

Snaking o'er the verdent valley, em'rald road
Coiling on. Wyrm like winding onwards strode
Vestra viewed it, understanding, sharing
Kenning Dragons children, Wyrm Friends daring

Saw their dragon path, and knew her own
A sign from Lhankor Mhy most plainly shown
So she led them swift onward to Boldhome
Her knowledge them to inscribe in Lhankor's tome.

[We leave the last word with Rajar's script.]

Kallyr hearing them
In Boldhomes Warm Earth Season
Sending to Kero Fin

---

What Really Happened

Berra realised that they'd borrowed a horse for her, and gave it back. Technically Vestra had to as well, but that seems to have been fudged a touch. Oops. So Serala and Berra descended on Honest Alred, Horse Trader to the stars Whitewall, and bargained in the efficient way that a Grazelander and a Humakti could. Meaning that they got taken, although Serala salvaged credibility by getting an unrideable horse from the meat enclosure thrown in.

Leaving town (except Mellia who lingered behind with someone ill in Whitewall) before anything further bad could happen, our heroes set out towards Wilmskirk, where they would have to decide whether they would take the Southern route through Duck Point, or the Northern Route, allowing them to go to Boldhome, and then Aldur Chur, before leaving the road, and heading down, either on the Eastern side, skirting the Dragonnewt Wilds, or on the Western side, past the Shaker Temple.

The weather had taken a turn for the worse, and throughout the next several days there was solid rain, a belated chance to swell the seeds before harvest was finally brought in, in the next couple of weeks. Consequently, the Bison smelled of wet dog bison, and everyone else was cold and wet. They were therefore a bit grumpy when they came across a decapitated body lying in the middle of the road, and a legged man groaning by the side of the road. Inspection of the corpse revealed it had been decapitated with a single upangled blow which the party had by now realised was D'Val's signature, and inspection of the groaner showed he had a serious leg wound. Further scouting showed the signs of several people fleeing at high speed through the undergrowth. After a debate between the two main options for dealing with the survivor (killing him, vs leaving him to die of exposure), the party decided to bring him with them to Boldhome, and off they set, leaving the corpse where they found it, and finally made Wilmskirk, just after dark. They managed to get themselves a place in a tavern for food, and drink, and being hit on.

Berra objected to this last, unplanned, part of the timetable, and threw her drink over the wouldbe swain. Rajar contributed by throwing a table, and then Berra defused things by throwing a party. Consequently, most people had a bit of a headache the next morning.

Meanwhile, leaving Whitewall in a donkey cart most of a day behind the rest of the party, Mellia came across the corpse as she was planning to make camp, and proceeded to bury it, in the rain, and mud, after finding its head. She was therefore extremely cold and wet by the time, next morning, she reached Wilmskirk, just as the others were planning on setting off.

Berra launched off towards Duck Point, chasing after D'Val (presumably to own up to her own 'creative' adaptations to a Humakti Heroquest)⁶, whilst the rest trudged off in the direction of Boldhome.

Whilst heading north, the main party encountered a glowing green band of light passing perpendicularly over the road. Nala figured out that it was heading from roughly the direction of the ex-Lunar Temple, in a North-Westerly direction. As they watched, it pulsed, with thickenings, and then ceased, in a SE to NW direction. Nala threw a rock through where it had been and the GM cruelly used a scene break to build up tension.

Berra was slowly catching up on D'Val, finding out that not all human traders classify Ducks as 'People'. She eventually entered the City, a couple of hours behind him. She was directed by another Humakti in the direction of the Temple, and found an amazing building in a Lunar style, with columns, and feance and marble, and all carvings related to Yanafal Tarnils and the rest of the Seven Mothers carved out by devout Humakti (or more likely, someone who could read), and replaced by far more crudely carved Death and Truth runes. The 100 or more horse tying post of the lunar garrison were empty, so Berra parked up her horse there, and went inside, to see a bunch of Ducks evesdropping D'Val and someone who turned out to be Geoffri having an argument about the Self-Exiled Duck's presence. Berra rudely interrupted and got 3 sideeyes at her.

… and the rock landed, totally unharmed. Vestra realised this was something similar to what she'd read that the Wyrmfriends had done in the past, and theorised that Dragon Newts were responsible, supported by their finding of reptillian bipedal tracks. This was racked up as 'one for the sages' by everyone except Vestra, and 'quite interesting' by Vestra, and the group continued on to Boldhome, where they reported to Naril, and a rather cold and distracted Kallyr. Rewarded with a pouch of wheels, they planned a shopping spree.

Meanwhile, D'val and Berra repaired to an "inn", where D'val heard Berra's approach to creative theology, despaired, and then went off to see his family, whilst dispatching her back towards Boldhome.

Notable Moments and Quotes

"What a novel idea."- Serala.
"My Lord, I have a novel."- Baldrick GM

"Come here, incredibly rare book. Let me roll dice on you." -Nala

"I do not intend to eat the horse." - Berra

"Fast horse then?"- Serala
"Horse that I can ride relatively easily."- Berra
"Oh, a SLOW horse, then."- Serala.

"You want a horse that is…." -Tom
"…placid…" -Serala
"…reliable." - Tom

"There are a couple that come into this category. One of which is the horse she has been riding." - GM
"…And the horse you rode in on." - Nala

"You have built up such a good rapport… and how many OTHER horses you can ride are there in Whitewall?"- Honest Alred
"You talk a very good bargain, but I'd still like you to stop talking." - Berra
"Wait until Berra is nearly finished …. threatening… bargaining…" - Serala

"If we let [GM's 8 year old daughter] run Tiwr, he'll end up purple."- ?Nala
"With a Cutie Mark."- GM
"… of course we could tell him that anyway…."- GM

"I was set upon by bandits!" - Bandit Edart
"One bandit? Duck sized?" - Berra
"… Hundreds!" - Bandit Edart

"What you do find is some other foliage, as of other people fleeing." - GM
"While I know we should kill bandits, given that the luck god has so comprehensively smiled on this one…" - Berra

discussion of execution
"I'm right here, you know." - Bandit Edart
"This heroic warrior drove them off." - Bandit Edart
"Heroic warrior duck, but any chance?" - Nala
*sigh* "Yes, heroic warrior /duck/." - Bandit Edart

"Can I eeeeeat him? Pleeeeease?"- Tiwr
"Just a nibble?"- Tiwr

"Leave him here. We'll no doubt regret it later when he and his friends try to kill us, but we'll kill them!" - Rajar
"I am STILL here you know." - Bandit Edart
"Just do you know, if you and your friends try to kill us, you'll regret it." - Rajar

"Why don't you just heal yourself?" - Rajar
"If I could heal myself, I wouldn't be lying by myself, by the side of the road…" - Bandit Edart

"He feels really tender."- Tiwr
"I AM STILL RIGHT HERE."- Bandit Edart

"Nala gives you an expression that might indicate she is unused to the weight that 300 small plaits add in the rain." - Nala

German word, and I can't remember the pronunciation. "A shield of misery bacon." Which is the direct translation of the fat you get from comfort eating. - Rajar

"You are cold. You are wet. Billy smells of Bison…" - GM

"Tiwr, stop talking about ketchup. That conversation is over"- Nala

"The fact you pass a rock with three slashes on indicates either that someone is harmonious in the nearby area…" - GM
"Or it's three hundred metres to the next exit." - Nala

I should have joined the navy. I'd be drier.- Tiwr

"Nala, Rajar this is a huge place… an incredibly sturdy, well-constructed place. There's a solidly built building with a pole sticking out of it, with a jug on it… Berra, it's a standard sort of town along the King's Road, with an inn…. Vestra, this is another shitty one-horse town." - GM

*Groom refuses to let a Unicorn and a Bison into the horse stables*
"This is racism."- Tiwr
"There's a bit of a discussion with the groom." - GM
"Stare at him for a while…" - Rajar

"Leave most of the big weapons outside." - Rajar
"That's Billy." - Nala

"In a civilised country… those pots with wickerwork grids over the top would be for a stick with a collapsible leather rain shield on top…… here it's filled with spears ." - GM

"What's a nice thing like you doing in a place like this?" - Guy who lives in a place like this (Ardr)
"Humakt always tells the truth, and lemme tell you, those hips don't lie?" - Ardr
*massive theological confusion* - Berra
*Everyone moves away from him on the bench*- Nala
97/38: Berra rolls intimidate in a bar

"Make sure to bury the head." - Mellia
"Yeah, you can find it. It's over there a way." - GM
"That's good, because I was a bit worried about that." - Rajar
"But not enough to actually go and LOOK FOR IT." - GM

"Look over to Serala. 'This should be fun.'" - Rajar
"Serala is not looking pained. She's just looking." - Serala

"I'm going to have my empty ale mug in my right hand, and I'm going to slightly heft the table in my left hand, Just in case." - Rajar

"I'm going to throw the drink in his face halfway through what he's saying." - Berra
"Hurrah! I'm going to pick up the table and lob it at his mates!" - Rajar
"Do you /have/ a skill 'throw table'?" - GM
"Not exactly, no…." - Rajar
"So…. We are going to treat that as a throw rock, but with a penalty to hit. And a significant damage boost." - GM

"Rajar looks sort of puzzled." - Rajar
"This isn't how a bar fight is supposed to go." - Nala

"Bison, unicorn, same thing." - GM
"You don't have to live with him." - Nala

"Rajar, thank you for last night. If you ever need me for fists…"- Berra

"I'll salute, and ride off badly." - Berra

"Do you have any strong feelings about travelling with us, Edart?" - Nala
"Are you going to stop talking about killing me?" - Edart
"Um, probably not to be honest." - Rajar

"I'm still going to ride behind everyone to shoot you in case you ride off, but that's just tactics." - Nala
"What's a nice healer like you doing with this bunch?" - Edart
"Desparing, I imagine." - Vestra
"Oh, I'm just recording history firsthand." - Vestra

wonders if he can divert them into Snakepipe Hollow- GM
"Where?"- Serala
"It's where Storm Bulls go to die." - Rajar
"Gloriously." - GM

"It's Orlanth's sacred fluids falling down to fertilise the earth." - GM
"Come again?" - Berra

*Roll Sense Chaos*- Rajar
"Yeah, my batting rate for getting that right isn't the best in the world anyway." - Rajar
"If we call you right here, you're fifty-fifty." - Nala
"Yeah, and that tree deserved it anyway." - Rajar
"Let's not talk about the tree." - Nala

"I throw a rock over it [the curious green magical line in the landscape]." - Nala
"You throw a rock… And over to you, Berra." - GM
Different scene
"And the rock lands." - GM

"It allowed them [The Empire of the Wyrm Friends] to travel extremely quickly…" - GM
"It's a wyrm-hole!" - Vestra
"Yep, that's definitely something for the sages to worry about." - Rajar

"Wooo!" - Mellia
"Who just howled in a way that made the wolf look at them?" - Nala

"You keep seeing ducks up on the battlements." - GM
"I bet they're up on little boxes." - Berra

"He's not well liked." - GM
"Well, he is a duck." - Serala

“We don’t have Deveval here often.” - Humakti Duck
“Deveval?” - Berra
“D’Val…” - Humakti Duck

"If you can avoid him getting offended and killing everyone, that would be appreciated." - Humakti Duck
"I think he will only be angry with me." - Berra

awed looks - Berra at the temple of Humakt in Duck Point. Marble and pillars and faience…

"I think she said cough syrup." - Nala
"I said cold remedies." - Mellia

"Have you ever seen a Mandarin duck?" - GM
"No, I don't think I ever have." - Berra
"This is a Mandarin duck, but he's gothed up…" - GM

"I would like to point out there was a mandarin duck and I did not make a single orange sauce reference. Admire my virtue."- Nala

Related Logs

Previous: We are the Champions

Next: S. H. O. P. P. I. N. G. They're Shopping.

Footnotes

1. This is again foreshadowing of the future of Serala (assuming this poetic epic refers, as generally assumed, to the mighty Grazelander Hero of that name) with its huge reliance on horses.

2. The meaning here is unclear. Unicorns have never been carnivorous, and it seems unlikely that it would be suggested that the Heroic mount of Nala would behave so. Some sort of joke is clearly implied, therefore, but the cultural context of it is, alas, lost to us.

3. Again, implied reference to horses here, but archaeological and documentary evidence in regard to the historical Mellia implies a love for carts and sometimes chariots. It is assumed that this change has been made for political reasons to make the healer seem more heroic.

4. Whilst the Sonnets do not specifically claim that Mellia was solely responsible for dealing with the sickness outbreaks in Whitewall in the Autumn of 1625, it implies it.

5. The emphasis on the great heart of Mellia is another important point in her tale, as it anchors the moral centre of the whole myth cycle.

6. She thought he needed to know what had happened in case he had been sent for help, so he would not bring the wrong help and/or waste the time of other Humakti - Berra